You ask why, I say why not?

In blue

2012-01-17T17:55:00.001+08:00

I'm very dissapointed with the colour. Very. It's not like the blue I wanted. But.. I think I was smart enough(or should say my sis was smart enough) to wash my hair with head and shoulders. Heard that head and shoulders wash off colours. It's so true! Now it's like blue purple! Do I like? Not really:/ waiting for it to fade and I'll get green hair!

Jus got outta hair salon.

Under the sunlight.

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2012-01-10T17:14:00.001+08:00

You only have one life to live. Why not make a name for yourself?

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Tired of keeping up

2012-01-10T02:11:00.001+08:00

I need my own world.

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A prayer to 2012

2011-12-31T21:51:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

I pray that in the coming year,

1. I'll be less to procrastinate
2. My fashion photography will go to another level
3. Enter into city college photography course
4. Do up more photography portfolio
5. People who are under my care in CG will grow in capacity to contain more people
6. Keep fit and less cramps
7. Stay at my current weight!(I'm a 46-47kg now:] )
8. Be a better girlfriend. Cook for him, bake for him, write more cards to him, buy him gifts, be more understanding to him, etc.
9. Stay positive, always.
10. Be wise! And world peace.

XOXO

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Christmas for me

2011-12-16T02:01:00.002+08:00

When I listen to this song, i can feel that christmasy atmosphere instantly. I don't mind just spending my christmas just to listen to this song.

Daily Outfit

2011-12-08T04:58:00.004+08:00

3D

2011-12-08T04:50:00.002+08:00

Determination. Desire. Discipline.

It was really awesome to meet up with Jim Orca(mentor) and Meng kwang(senior)! They are the people that really motivates me, push me to go further in my photography. I love to meet my mentor. Even though whenever i meet him up with my questions, he won't give me an answer. He will always throw me more questions to answer myself. This really makes me think more, think deeper.

I wanna go further with my fashion photography. No matter what it takes, i will, I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. I'm giving myself another 5 years.

Oh yes, and i'm sooooooooooo excited for a good news!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO can't wait!

Lovin' my wardrobe

2011-11-12T14:01:00.005+08:00

Starbucks @ Rochester park

2011-11-12T02:20:00.003+08:00

It's a cool place to hang out there on a weekdays i suppose. I like it because it's kinda seclude(for now). I love the pastas there! Definitely worth a try since there's none in other outlets.

Pink pink pink~

2011-11-12T02:12:00.002+08:00

1. When i just dyed my hair! Nice right!

2. When i was bored at work

3. Shuhui did a scorpion plait for my hair. Kinda fail i think? Pink and black are everywhere.

Initially i didn't really like it pink, too much of attention. I wanted to make my bottom red like "redder" ended up got convinced by my bf and hairstylist to bleach and dye pink. Now i think it's kinda fun! It gave me lotsa guts and courage to do things!

11/11/11 11:11

2011-11-12T02:00:00.003+08:00

It's a myth about this 11:11 thingy. I just join in for fun!

:')

2011-10-06T01:54:00.001+08:00

Tonight i cried out to God. Asking Him to change my thinking and tomorrow will be better:)

2011-10-06T01:45:00.001+08:00

When words are spoken, sometimes it could be a misinterpretation. Did i misinterpret?

When it's over

2011-10-06T00:17:00.001+08:00

things will be different than before.

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What am i doing?

2011-10-04T01:27:00.002+08:00

Looking at friends photos, looking at the photos i took, how far they've got to, I'm stress. What am i doing? Where's the promise?

FEELING FRUSTRATED.

2011-10-02T23:51:00.001+08:00

主是信实的。

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Be happy

2011-10-02T23:21:00.001+08:00

I'll stay this way every single day!

Kinda disheartened.

2011-10-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

While i was on the way home, my mum told me about this cousin, my age, she's going to england for further studies on law. Another same age cousin she's doing her uni this year. I was thinking, how about myself? I'm nothing. The highest qualification i have is O level. What am i gonna do then?

1. Going overseas

If i have the finance, i'll definitely go ahead. My family is just an average doing family so my parents couldn't afford to pay the school fees that's like SGD$60-70K?

2. Local

Other than TP having photography course, i don't think there's other places have recognise cert i can go for right? The fact that i can't go into any course in poly(except nursing in NYP), that's depressing enough. What more to say about photography? x10000 I really pray and hope, city college will have a photography course that i can learn something and bring my photography into another level.

I know people have always known me as the photographer but what am i doing? Nothing. I don't know where can i start. How did i start the other time then? I'm really confused. The road in front of me it's like i'm entering a woods where it's sososo foggy. I can hardly see anything.

All the more i have these things to depress about, i only have one thing that can hold on and that's God. He's my strength, my refuge, my comforter, my friend, my saviour, my destiny. Where can i go without Him? If all have gone, i only have one hope and sure i know that's God. I think i'll thank God that i only have one strength and that's photography. I'm not really that that good in dancing, singing, make up, acting. At least i know what's the trade i have to go for.

Dear God,

I know you're looking at my blog and hearing my heart speaking. I pray that You'll give me a clearer path to walk. I don't need it to be everything laid and tell me what to do but i want you to hold my hand and guide me step by step like a toddler and a father, teaching the kid how to walk. I'm taken, i'm taken out of misery because you gave. God, hear my cry. I love you God, with my heart, my soul and my mind.

Let me always remember your goodness O Lord.

Full of myself

2011-09-29T00:35:00.004+08:00

CAKES CUPCAKES

2011-09-28T23:25:00.002+08:00

This is AWESOME!! OREO CUPCAKE! Awwwwww

SHO SWEEET!

I want this for my wedding.

Disney princesses

2011-09-28T02:41:00.001+08:00

I think every girls dream are to be like them. As perfect as they are. Well, ain't we perfect in our own imperfection? So that we can keep going on to perfection. No one loves to stagnant and do nothing.

It's a mindset thing

2011-09-27T00:43:00.001+08:00

All light up

2011-09-26T00:05:00.003+08:00

Really wonder why light can make things look so beautiful. Just like how Jesus, the light, shines beautifully.

Think happy thoughts

2011-09-25T03:30:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you just have problem with that. But nonetheless, try?

Question

2011-09-25T03:19:00.000+08:00

HOW DO I TELL YOU THE TRUTH?

Broken by Lifehouse

2011-09-22T02:52:00.002+08:00

This is the trailer song for The time traveler's wife. I went to search about the meaning of this song and below is the description:

Broken, a single off of Lifehouse's Who We Are album was inspired by a road trip lead singer Jason Wade took to Nashville to visit a friend waiting for a kidney transplant. The track reached number eighty-six on the US charts and was released in 2007. Although the song was derived from Wade's experience dealing with the fragile life of his friend the song definitely has a broader scope than that as it speaks to the overall fragility of life.

As with many ``pseudo-Christian acts there is a veiled spirituality to the song. Lyrics that talk about ``finding meaning in your name'' and ``I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home'' speak to a relationship with God that sometimes is bumpy at best. There is a somber tone to the track and Wade's openness about his own mortality is appreciated. The group has done its best from being labeled a one hit wonder ever since the release of their 2001 monster hit Hanging by a Moment was the most played song on radio that year. Broken's video was co-produced by actor Keifer Sutherland and has appeared in television shows such as Grey's Anatomy, The Hills, Criminal Minds and One Tree Hill.

And this is the lyrics:

The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on)
I'm barely holding on to you

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
Is there healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin on)(I'm holdin on)
(I'm still holdin on) (I'm holdin on)
I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin')(I'm holdin' on)(I'm still holdin') (I'm holdin' on) (I'm still holdin')
Barely holding on to you (I'm still holdin on)
Barely holdin on to you

Enjoy the song!

Rachel mcadams

2011-09-22T01:31:00.003+08:00

I jus simply love her in the time traveler's wife!! She so hot and everything nice!!!

Back to the time traveler's wife

2011-09-21T00:56:00.002+08:00

Just nice when i switch channel to HBO hits, i saw the time traveler's wife playing! Aye! I seriously love that show kay!?!!?!?! I even bought the novel:D Heeeeeee.

I'm really crazy about that show, don't know why. I love these kinda sad-love-life-happy-ending-story. Local production "The leap years" also the same kinda story! I'll cry buckets of tears.

“Don't you think it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?”

“We laugh and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment.”

“It's hard being left behind. (...) It's hard to be the one who stays.”

“Why is love intensified by absence?”

“There is only one page left to write on. I will fill it with words of only one syllable. I love. I have loved. I will love.”

My favourite quote is this: “Sometimes I'm happy when he's gone, but I'm always happy when he returns. -Clare”

Words that i said.

2011-09-20T01:57:00.002+08:00

I still remember 2 years ago, i told my good friend:

"I'll rather be the one in front of the camera than behind the camera."

After saying those words, few months later i took up photography as my hobby and it became my passion. See? Never say never.(Even tho i didn't use the word never but yea, same uh.)

Now that i think when you're in front of the camera, it's quite a thing. From the way you pose, expression, poise, etc it's not easy. I can't imagine if there's a couple of photographers taking photos of me. I rather be the one behind the camera, shooting beautiful pictures of people:)

Sometimes i just want to be crazy,

2011-09-19T01:04:00.001+08:00

Even if i were to regret.

Blogsecret

2011-09-18T02:50:00.001+08:00

Disclaim: I didn't wrote this but i found this on tumblr.

I love him. He loves me. Yet I am bloody insecure. Maybe because of my past. But I feel that’s just an excuse I guess. I want me to be the one with whom he does all his ‘firsts’, not with some friend he has made there. I know we are in a long-distance relationship but it’s hard enough already. And it surely doesn’t help when he is out going out on rides with ‘her’. Who is she? A good friend he claims. And I know he hasn’t done anything off the limits because he loves me. She is like a sister to him and yet I feel this way. I feel like a bitch. An old hag, who can’t even see him being friends with someone. Am I insane or what? I dunno.

2011-09-18T02:46:00.003+08:00

I found that we are talking lesser. Are we too comfortable with one another? Hmmmmmm

Attitude: For the sake of it.

2011-09-18T02:07:00.003+08:00

Sometimes we have this thinking: Alright, for the sake of it, i'll just do.

Well, this attitude allows us to finish the task that is given to us. However, it's just a motion and it will not bring us to any place. Likewise for me, i do have this kinda attitude most of time but when i reflect, i felt that we gotta find a reason why we are doing it. Is it because we want to help this person? Go back to the basic. Because of love? Because you want to be a blessing? Because you want to be a testimony for God? etc.

We have to search for that one reason and keep reminding ourselves the purpose of us doing it.

A journey of a dream

2011-09-13T13:48:00.003+08:00

I was listening to PK's sermon and this part really caught me: You've got to get your dream from God.

I remember when i was in SOT, God gave me a vision while i was praying. I saw a vision that i'm leading praise in a cg full of adults. They are no ordinary adults but people who are in the fashion industry. People like models, photographers, fashion editors, fashion stylist, etc. Isn't that a big big dream? That's like a media cg! I was worried and excited at the same time. I was worried if i can lead people like them, i was excited because i have people getting save from my future industry!

I use to think if i'm called to be a cgl, how can i ever be in photography industry? What if i need to travel, busy with shoots, how can i still take care of youth? Because i thought i'll take people like my current cg. Till God gave me that vision, i understood. When i was younger, God showed me half of the dream and now God showed me the dream. I'm still waiting and working towards that dream.

I just want to encourage you to get a dream from God. Even if you have a dream, doesn't mean it's from God. But if a dream was given by God, whether it's a vision, in your dream, a verse, a word and you have the peace in your heart, that dream will come to past. IT WILL. Because God is your back up. Remember that your God given dream is never too small. It's always called for a greater purpose.

XOXO

Pretty cute thing on instagram

2011-09-11T23:20:00.006+08:00

These are pictures that i found on instagram:) Ain't they adorable?

Wavehouse with beloved

2011-09-01T12:06:00.006+08:00

When baby told me that we're going to Wavehouse to chill in the morning, i was so excited!! You never know how much i love to chill by the beach(somewhat) and have a sip of ice lemon tea and do my work. That's life!

We reached sentosa at 820am and headed to delifrance for breakkie! Well, that's the only place that is open in the morning(except mac). After which, we went to W.A.V.E.H.O.U.S.E!!! OMG that was awesome okay? We're there so early to chill! Did my editings and baby was doing his own stuff.

My friend was wondering why we spend time in sucha manner. Well, this kinda way to spend time is once in awhile thingy. Anyways, shall let the pictures do the talking!

Peektures!

2011-08-26T14:43:00.008+08:00

Sending Praphan off..

Send off Katsu:'(
and sususmo too:'(
Rocker MD yoz.

Lately have been sleeping over at my aunt's house. She's so adorable ain't?

Outfield camp

2011-08-25T00:19:00.001+08:00

Yes, baby is having outfield camp for 5 days. Hope he's doing well over at tekong.

I miss him. His admin time to sms me, morning greetings that warms my heart and start my day well.

4 more days..

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2011-08-18T14:04:00.005+08:00

Rainbow theme for 22nd anniversary.

Best cgl of the year 2010, Melvyn cheng!

Turtle!
How i wish i have the money to buy all of em'

MOOOOOOOOOOONCAKES!

This is so cute!

Last time serving with these awesome guys!!

Love you shine<3

Home cook food by Shirley soon

Pics

2011-08-11T23:41:00.005+08:00

One of my bestie!

Nicole is soooooo adorable!

I love these cupcakes!!<3

Assignments assignments assignments

2011-08-11T00:34:00.002+08:00

Here i am, chionging my assignments. Thank God the grace, i can finish by the dateline and on a side note, i don't have to retest for my tests! And i just realise i've got 4 tests that marked 70 and above. WOOHOO! Haven't gotten such result for some time! Hahaha. Thank God, thank God.

The LORD our banner

2011-08-05T12:43:00.001+08:00

Lord, You are my Jehovah Nissi!!!!! Amen!!

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Not feeling good.

2011-08-04T14:00:00.002+08:00

Pity me.

What's with the flu and cough? Please let me recover asap. TYJ:)

Pics

2011-08-04T00:48:00.003+08:00

I always enjoy cha soba from sushi tei. If baby can join me, that's even better!

Earl grey with Horlick tim tam. Its taste real good! Just that tim tam taste very very sweet:/

Love the colour of the shades!
Elliott is so funny. Yea, and he spelt handsome wrongly.

This cherry is much better than the cocktail cherry! Heh

Ms nose

2011-08-04T00:46:00.001+08:00

Please stop running like a tap water.

Yours sincerely,

gwen

What is "love" to you?

2011-08-03T15:42:00.003+08:00

To me, it comes with sacrifices. How about you?

No ordinary love - MYMP

2011-08-02T02:16:00.001+08:00

Say it again - Marie Digby

2011-08-02T02:09:00.002+08:00

The thing about love is I never saw it comin'
You kinda crept up and took me by surprise
And now there's a voice inside my heart that's got me wonderin'
Is this true? I wanna hear it one more time

Move in a little closer
(Just a little closer)
Take it to a whisper
(Woah)
Get just a little louder
(Yeah)

Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are
Tellin' me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind

Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love
Say it again

The thing about you
(About you)
Is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there's no end in sight

The thing about me is that I really wanna let you
(Really wanna let you)
Open that door
(Open that door)
And walk into my life

Move in a little closer
(Just a little closer)
Take it to a whisper
(Woah)
Just a little louder
(Yeah)

Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are
Tellin' me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind

Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love

And it feels like
It's the first time
That anybody's ever brought
The sun without the rain

And never
In my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful
As when you say my name

Say it again
Say it again
Say it again

When you tell me you're in love
Say it again

KISS

2011-08-01T22:27:00.003+08:00

Slept 3/4 of the show:(

Can't wait for the big day!!!

Pictures

2011-07-29T01:17:00.005+08:00

Best manicure i ever done for myself!

KTP railway station.

Baby's birthday celebration with vince heng and joey.

Love my gfs!!

Awesome deal! $10 each!;)

SOT graduation shoot. Oh yea!

Why weaknesses?(Part 3)

2011-07-24T22:17:00.002+08:00

I've got my answer.

God reminded me of what pastor bobby taught in theology lesson. When we are weak, we ought to look up to Him. Because God is our strength. Why there's problems and questions in life? So that we know that by our might, we cannot do much. Only through Him, we are strengthen.

Thank You Lord for the revelation:)

Why weaknesses?(Part 2)

2011-07-23T17:50:00.002+08:00

Had my first ever overnight prayer meeting for SOT. It was really awesome. I really wept before God. Telling Him all my weaknesses, how i always disappoint Him and people around me. But i know God is good:) He still loves me, never give up on me.

When i was worshipping God in cg meeting, He showed me Mary breaking the expensive perfume to wash Jesus feet and He's please. What's my interpretation? He wants me to trust Him my life. My whole entire being. Good or bad.

How great is my God!

Daphne preached. She came to this scripture. "Out of the abundance of heart, the mouth speaks." If you don't have self-control, your mouth also have no self-control. I think it is very true. I have no self-control and discipline, that's why i tend to speak without thinking twice. Quick to speak, slow to think. This can be very serious. It just happened.

God, i pray that you've give me self-control and let the Holy Spirit guide my mouth. Words are like sword, it can either help to fight a battle or can destroy someone. Let everything i do glorify your name. Amen.

----------------------------------

Had a talk with my 2 friends.

I think all these boils down to my childish act for not thinking twice about the consequences. It has never done with any intentions, at all. Girls outside can treat you badly but for me, i've always treat you as my friend and i respect you. Because you have always been a girl that is strong, passionate for people, taking care of people and many more good things. For the things i listed, to be frank, i'm totally opposite. That's why i respected you. It's never about girls jealousy or competition and stuff because we are called differently. Knowing you is really my honour. However, if things doesn't turns out good, i still wanna see you live life to the fullest and go for your calling.

With love,

Gwen

AJ Rafael - We could happen

2011-07-23T17:35:00.003+08:00

i'll hold the door
please come in and just sit here for a while
this is my way of telling you i need you in my life

it's so cold without your touch
i've been dreaming way too much
can we just turn this into reality

chorus:
cuz ive bbeen thinking bout you lately
maybe you can save me from this crazy world we live in
i know we could happen cuz you know
that ive been feeling you

storms they will come but i know
that the sun will shine again
he's my friend and he says that we belong together

i'll sing a song to bbreak the ice
just a smile from you would suffice
its not me being nice girl this is real tonight

Why weaknesses?(Part 1)

2011-07-22T16:48:00.005+08:00

I just spoke to one of my team mate about things that happened in my life. All i can say is that he exposed my weaknesses that no one had ever thought of it, or maybe people knows but never spoke to me about it.

I'm naive. I'm gullible. I easily get cheated.

Well, i do think that i'm like this sometimes but i always brush it off. I love to sweep things under the carpet. LOVE. Be it things or feelings. I'm so so so positive that i think everything will be alright even if i leave it unresolved.

When can i ever learn my lesson? I said other people are like greenhouse plants, seriously, i'm one as well. I'm so protected that i depend on others alot, thinking that i can lean on people's solutions. It's just a part and parcel of life that i gotta go through.

I count myself bless(or maybe not), for not going hardship in life? And what if i gone thru? Will my thinking and perspective about life be different? Will i ever be so positive and cheerful? Just gotta give and take. There's always a sacrifice if you want certain things.

To be continue..

Rockyapancakes

2011-07-06T01:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you just wanna ask, why me?

2011-07-06T01:09:00.002+08:00

It could be a good or bad thing. Well, life goes on.

I'm happy after meeting my boy out on the weekends. I really do look forward to see him every weekend! Somewhat its like highlight days for me:)

We sorta talk thing out that didn't make me happy. He understood and made an agreement. It's not about the agreement but security. Woman need nothing more than security isn't it? That's how simple a woman can be. Yes, i'm in that category as well.

Even these things happened, it tells me that he really loves me. He's willing to do things that makes me happy.

心跳 by 王力宏

2011-06-29T01:42:00.002+08:00

想跟我吵架我没那麽无聊

不懂得道歉我没那麽聪明

好想要回到我们的原点

你又在哭泣我给不了安慰

我又在摇头有那麽点後悔

爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走

但身不由己出现在胸口两颗心能塞几个问号

爱让我们流多少眼泪

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳

逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒

等着哪一天你也想起

那悬在记忆中的美好

You want to argue with me. Im not that bored.
I apologize without understanding. Im not that bright.
I desire to go back to where we began.

You are crying again. I fail to give you comfort.
Im shaking my head again (disapproving of my actions), thats that much regret.
Loves progression makes it already hard to turn back, but Im unable to move on.

My body still wont leave because of what is currently in my chest. Two hearts can solve many problems.
How many tears has love made us shed?

Your eyes are brimming with beauty to carry away my heartbeat.
In this way, you draw closer to take away my heartbeat.
Time has turned back to the beginning. Can you give me a moment?

Im waiting for whatever day when you will also remember.
That happiness hovering in your memories.

Falling slowly by Glen Hasard and Marketa Irglova

2011-06-28T02:15:00.000+08:00

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud

Love love love by Hope

2011-06-28T01:40:00.003+08:00

Love, Love, Love, Love, Love
Giving me
Love, Love, Love
More than I ever need

Love, you're so distracting
Am I overreacting, For feeling this way
And ever, since I met ya, I can't keep my attention
And you are to blame

Your love's a permanent distraction, a perfect interaction
a feeling so extreme
I lost my appetite to eat, and I barely get to sleep
Cause you're even in my dreams
And I thought that I was strong but I knew that all along,
this was out of my control
So I fell into your hands, and i don't know where we'll land,
I'm just going with the flow

Love, Love, Love, Love, Love

Somedays, I want to run away
This feels so perfect, it's breaking my heart
Yeah we could, we could stay here happy
Or after summer, be two worlds apart

Giving me, Love Love Love, Love Love
More than i ever need
Giving me Love Love Love

Your Love, is bigger than a rain cloud
It covered up my whole skies
It's filling up my heart,
My heart with
Love, Love, Love, Love, Love
More than I ever need
giving me
Love, Love, Love

Your love's a permanent distraction, a perfect interaction
a feeling so extreme
I lost my appetite to eat, and I barely get to sleep
Cause you're even in my dreams
And I thought that I was strong but I knew that all along,
this was out of my control
So I fell into your hands, and i don't know where we'll land,
I'm just going with the flow

Giving me
Love, Love, Love, Love, Love
More than I ever need

Pack up by Eliza Doolittle

2011-06-28T01:33:00.000+08:00

I get tired, and upset
And i’m trying to care a little less
And on Google I only get sad and depressed
I was taught to hide those issues, I was told:
Don’t worry, there’s no doubt
There’s always something to cry about
When you’re stuck in an angry crowd
They don’t think what they say before they open their mouth, you gotta

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And bury them beneath the sea
I don’t care what the people may say
What the people may say bout me.
Pack up your troubles get your old grin back
Don’t worry about the cavalry
I don’t care what the whisperers say
'Cause they whisper too loud for me

Hot topic,
Maybe I should drop it,
It’s a touchy subject,
And I like to tiptoe 'round the s**t going down,
You got penny, no pound
So if your business is running out
It’s not my business to talk about
They don’t think what they say before they open their mouth, you gotta

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And bury them beneath the sea
I don’t care what the people may say
What the people may say bout me
Pack up your troubles get Your old Grin back
Don’t worry about the cavalry
I don’t care what the whisperers say
'Cause they whisper too loud for me

Tweet tweet,
tweet tweet tweet t-t-tweet tweet,
tweet tw' tweet t-t-tweet tweet,
tweet t-tweet tweet tweet...
tweet..tweet..tweet..tweet..tweet..tweet.tweet.tweet..

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And bury them beneath the sea
I don’t care what the people may say
What the people may say bout me
Pack up your troubles get Your old Grin back
Don’t worry about the cavalry
I don’t care what the whisperers say
'Cause they whisper too loud for me

Yeah yeah yeah
[do-do-do-bab-bab-doobie-do]
yeah yeah
[da-doobie-do-ba-do-do]
Oh oh
[da-do-da-dabba-do]

First book out for my bf.

2011-06-27T00:39:00.004+08:00

I was so happy that i could pick up bf when he's outta confinement week!! Woohoo! Even though i was kinda late due to work but it's still a good one! Took a polaroid with baby:) i'll upload it soon!

We had dinner with the parents and head out for mr popper's penguin movie! We were tired but we just wanna spend some time doing couple stuff^^ On the saturday we just met up a short while in the midnight for supper and chilled with shirleysoon and cy. While sunday, the book in day, we went to expo flea market to walk around and do some shopping. Finally, had one last dinner before sending him off to pasir ris. I'm so proud that my baby always look forward to army, even if his reason was to slim down and take challenge.

He's gonna stay in there for another 5 days!! Not gonna countdown because afterall, it's not that LONGGGGGGGGG and i'm pretty busy with my own schedule X.X

---------------------------------------

Dr. A.R Bernard's sermon was way beyond awesome. I was sooooooo impacted that after first service, i decided to get his audio sermon and after second service, i was so determine determine determine to get his audio sermon! It feels like it is speaking to me for both days.. felt so touched by God.

Today's sermon was about storms in our lives. Be it you disobey or obey God, you'll still face storms. It's worse when you have to face storms because of people's decision. Well, take that then.

One part that Dr. bernard shared that set me thinking and felt that God seems to have given me an impression. Like Paul prayed that he will go to Rome but never expected that he will have to handcuff to Rome. He have walk around to bush before he can reach where he needs to be. It's like my photography. Lately, my boss in prudential is trying to convince me to join them to be an agent, saying that i have what it takes. Yes, i totally agree that the money is good but im afraid that i'll lose my vision. He even asked if in 10 years time i can earn $1,000,000, i said yes. It is possible:) Because i believe and it's a fact. It may not be an easy path for me to do photography as a full-time and good career. But if is what God given to me, He won't take away from me and i shall continue to trust in Him.

"Do not lose heart."

Say you're sorry

2011-06-24T01:57:00.002+08:00

Love this song.

Circus of silence down at our feet
Paper cut tigers starting to bleed
Hang from your tightrope above the mess
Just say you're sorry, no more, no less
Words you won't use, you don't feel them like I do, I do (don't feel them like I do)
Show will be over soon

It's not the curtain closing causing us to call it a day
I wanna walk away too
But I want you to say you are sorry
I'm not the one who went and made a mistake
I wanna walk away too
But I want you to say you are sorry

I used to believe that the storybook's true
Now I don't need it at least not with you
So if you see him, the man 'neath the mask
Tell him I'm leaving and not looking back
Words are no use (words are no use)
You don't need them like (you don't need them like) I do
Show will be over soon

It's not the curtain closing causing us to call it a day
I want to walk away too
But I wanna to say you are sorry
I'm not the one who went and made a mistake
I wanna walk away too
But I want you to say you are sorry

I want the one word that you refuse to say to me
You're so good at giving me responsibility
I wash my hands clean and let you watch me as I go
And I'm sorry for you, just so you know

It's not the curtain closing causing us to call it a day
I wanna walk away too
But I want you to say you are sorry
I'm not the one who went and made a mistake
I wanna walk away too
But I want you to say you are sorry

2 weeks and 3 days

2011-06-24T01:37:00.003+08:00

FINALLY! I've waited for this day since dinos era. Hahaha that's a little exaggerated. Baby is coming out from tekong tomorrow for good! Even if we only get to spend round about 2 days plus time together but i think that's enough:) It's more on the quality than the quality yea?

Tomorrow we're gonna have dinner with his parents, movie for midnight. Saturday meet up with his buddies and sunday.. haven't decide yet. Prolly go to my favourite place, flea market!! Hopefully i can!:)

Yes, baby told me that he wrote me like 3 4 pages of letters. It's a notepad size tho, wonder how small it is. If it was the a4 size, i think jolly well just burn and drink. Maybe when i'm asleep i can read it.

Jus receive a great news from daphne, i'm so excited for her!! Everything will be well! Hahaha she's gonna fast and pray for it to happen! I believe with her:D

Letting my emotions go.

2011-06-23T02:03:00.002+08:00

I thank God for friends. When i seek help from them, they are nonetheless there for me. Sometimes its not about you being passive and waiting people to approach you to help when you didn't even show or ask. Human beings can't read minds. Anyways, this ain't the main point.

I learned. If i can't speak face to face, just write letter. It's also a form of communication too. Even though as i write i cry but i felt relieve at the same time. It's time to let my heart out. Indeed, when you keep everything to yourself and once it reaches it's brim, everything will explode. Thank God i didn't.

Thank you my friends!(you know who you are:))

2011-06-22T01:29:00.001+08:00

我是不是选错人了？

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Just the way i am.

2011-06-21T23:04:00.003+08:00

It's not that i wanna be emo la, probably because PMS. This 2 days i've been thinking alot. I don't really wanna openly share it here. All i've gotta say is that it's always on the same old issue.

Is it just me or you? Told 2 good friends of mine and they said i just gotta open up, be more expressive and tell how i feel. Well, that really takes lotsa courage. I'm not a confrontation person, for real. Even if i can be fun-loving, outspoken but not of my deep thoughts. Unless it's about sharing my conviction things i'll make sure it get's into your head la.

Someone said i'm very gracious. Like i don't like it, ask a person to change and give them time. I don't think i am. It's more like i don't wanna put pressure on people and believe that without being fierce and confrontation it will help. I'm wrong. It's doesn't help at all. Seriously.

I don't expect you to read my mind of cause. Woman are fickle-minded. But at least ask me how i've been thinking, put in more concern into how i feel, that simple. I may look okay, sound okay doesn't mean i'm really okay. I don't wish to create a negative atmosphere.

I just thought of leaving. Think i've always been like "It doesn't work out, leave."

Shirley reminded me that you gotta learn to solve it. I cannot just keep thinking that if i'm not up for it i'll leave. Being a christian is not that right? Nothing is too difficult when you have God.

TALKING TO THE MOON.

2011-06-21T00:24:00.001+08:00

原来我的心是碎的，一点都没敞开过。

主啊，请祢来医治我的心好吗？

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仆人的心

2011-06-21T00:00:00.001+08:00

我永远不会忘记
主你那丰富恩典
如今我在天父怀中
因为你舍下自己

你不看我的过去
只是完全接纳我
主你的爱何等伟大
我的心完全融化

我亲爱救主
我心何等感谢
你单单在意
我这爱你的心
我愿一生
追求跟随我主
谦卑为你
服事这世界

我亲爱救主
我要一生敬拜
在我生命中
你是唯一的爱
毫无保留
我愿献上所有
何等渴慕
能为你而活
耶稣我主

This is like the song of my life. Lord, let me have the heart of a servant.

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Counting down.

2011-06-15T22:53:00.004+08:00

Another 7 days(count tomorrow instead) and i'll see my baby! Hurray!! I can't wait to see himmmmm! But so sad, i can't pick him up if he's gonna book out at like 630? I have cellgroup in the west:( Nonetheless, i'm gonna see him after cellgroup!!! Awesomeness x 100!!!

In camp

2011-06-09T14:50:00.001+08:00

My boyfriend is in camp:( I'm going camp later too. But I'm sure it's more fun! Oh well.. I should thank God that the camp is when he book in, so I have 3 days being occupied!!

Next week I'll have lotsa planning too. Movies and having Jacq to come to my place and stay! Hooray!

Aft next week I'll see baby!!

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The little blessings

2011-06-04T18:07:00.001+08:00

Needless to say, I'm a 幸福的女人! For the time being. After June 8, wednesday, baby have to go in to serve NS. Thank God that he's going in with a good attitude!!:D so proud of him!

Really pray that when he's in camp, he will still grow more in the Lord and still seek Him when he feels tired:) I'll be his woman that he's at the "front line" fighting, I'm "behind" him praying.

Thank God we had a good 2 years of foundation, knowing one another and even more for the years to come. He really went through quite abit to sorta got hold of me to be his girlfriend.

From the day he knows my existence, found me on Facebook, get to know me, hangout together, being ignored, still encouraging me when I had crush on some other guy, dated one another, my consecration period, waiting time till, TADA!!!! These period of time have really shown me that he's not just seeking for another few months relationship, smack his butt and leave the relationship. But he wants to get into a serious relationship and really works toward marriage.

We are the same kind. We come to a point that we wanted to commit to one another, love one another and take care of one another.

People around us were very happy for us as if we had a long "marathon" run and won the 1st prize.

Thank you Johnson, Daphne, mummy and papa and all the friends! Thank you for all the wishes!

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First official one.

2011-05-31T00:16:00.001+08:00

FINALLY!!!(Have seen this word appearing on twitter like everytime.) I'm attached!!! To who? Of cos it's my beloved best friend maximillian rockerboii!:D

Hmmmm it seems that it's not easy for us to get together. If I were to write it out here, I will have to stay up 10 days 10 nights without sleep to write it out. Haha.

Thank God for sucha great tolerance man He have given to me. Gotta tahan my malu-ness, blur-ness, blond-ness and any super embarrassing word you can describe, you'll find his name with tolerance. It's a new chapter w this rockerfella, really am looking forward!:D

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YK zone camp

2011-05-28T22:40:00.001+08:00

I'm so excited!!!!! Because for the first time I'll be leading P&W in a congregation! Moreover it's with the youths!

Really felt so touched that God has never forgotten me. Even though 2 years ago I told myself that I won't sing anymore and focus of photography but deep in my heart I'll still love to sing. God knows my heart. He really prepared me for the days to come. He gave me words and prophecy to encourage me. The most amazing thing is that even thought I didn't learn singing or so, my voice is better than before! Whoa!

It's like God have gave me a better gift now. Not only singing but photography as well:) I'm truly blessed and wants to use these gifts to minister to people.

God, You are good and true.

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Mark a historical date.

2011-05-28T04:12:00.001+08:00

May 27, I commit to God that I'll serve Him all of my life. Put my life, marriage, ministry and calling in His hands.

--Heart of a servant--

Have really been encourage by the people around me. Those who had discern and prayed for me, thank you Jesus.

God have been speaking to me about my talents and gifts. Like how much I can use to give glory to Him! I know all these were never in me but God just gave. I couldn't really sing "well" or opportunity to sing but God, gave me a better vocal and opportunities. I couldn't see the point of taking photos, now I do. Moreover, in a short period of time I know what I wanted and passionate about. Never felt like this before.

I ever thought, "chey, you have the ability to be a cgl? You're not eloquent, not "really" educated, "blonde" in certain ways etc" but I'll always remember what God says in the bible. "let the fool shame the wise" I'm willing to be the fool for Christ. Because this life I have was never live for me alone but for God. Then I will think, "how do you put cgl and fashion photography together? Quite impossible?" but God, gave me an impression and vision that I could be the marketplace cgl to reach out to the models, mag editors, fashion photographers. It was like a revelation to me. Nothing is really impossible with God!!!

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Heart and mind

2011-05-10T19:44:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

I have a tainted heart. Over the years it has become weaker and weaker, not as optimistic as before. My mind wants to be renewed but I jus can't do it. The hurts have left a mark. Revive this heart and renew my heart once again.

In Your name I pray,
Amen.

Jer 29:11

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Running in the race

2011-05-07T18:20:00.001+08:00

It's not about how fast you can run with God, it's about how you can go with God to the end.

God won't despise those who walk or stroll while in our Christian life. As long as we make it at the finishing line, He is happy:)

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?

2011-04-16T01:28:00.001+08:00

And so what's the whole point of telling me that my concern is your concern too? I don't see that coming. It was during the good times, not during the bad times.

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I'm really blessed

2011-03-07T21:44:00.001+08:00

My SOT just started today! *jumping around with great joy and big wide smile*

I thank God for all the things He have given in my life. Literally everything. But I know I ought to have more of God's love, mercy and grace. Because in me, I'm weak. I cannot contain people just by my strength.

When Pastor kong had the churchwide bible study last Wednesday, I had a revelation. All the things I've been doing and taught has it's purpose.

6 years ago, Johnson, my cgl, prophecy over me that I'll be a cellgroup leader. Since young, I never thought I wanna be and never want to be. Well, I'm not very good with words and I don't think I can take people under me. Back then, I never understood. But now, slowly as I'm taking one by one, step by step, I see myself doing the things I thought I could never do it and eventually helping out in my cg. Even though I've been feeling not spiritually up there, I wouldn't leave my cg in the lurch. I'll still wanna try to help, even though it seem to be nothing big. I just wanted to be there and make sure.

That's why SOT will allow me to see my call in God's kingdom and my purpose in life even clearer:) of cos I know photography is still something that God has plan it in this awesome plan of my life, just that I'll have to let God reveal how I'm gonna do them both together..

How great is my God:)

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Art piece

2011-02-22T22:49:00.001+08:00

I'll really wanna see everything like a piece of art. In life, in people, in food, in magazines, in the street, in kids, in a city, everything. Isn't that wonderful?:)

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You know.

2011-02-02T04:21:00.001+08:00

I can't sleep, can't stop thinking about it. Needa knock myself out and go ZzzzZz.

If it's ever there, it will find us back.

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If I say

2011-02-01T23:51:00.001+08:00

I'm not happy. Will that make a difference?

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Getting tired.

2011-01-30T16:01:00.001+08:00

I may not be a sweet girl, but at least I know I'm unique.

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I doubt.

2011-01-19T00:16:00.001+08:00

How it all falls wrongly in this place.

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And You told me.

2011-01-16T23:40:00.001+08:00

Deutoronomy 8:11

“Therefore, be careful to obey every command I am giving you today, so you may have strength to go in and take over the land you are about to enter."

I believe this will be the star that will guides me to the promise land. I believe.

This week pastor preached about the promises He has given us, that we ought to come out of our comfort zone and enter into the unlimited place to count our promises. Because God has did that for Abraham, likewise He's doing it for all of us, His children.

Sometimes I do wonder why I'm so weak. Not physically but anything else. Even how positive I can become, I'll still be negative at times. Even how hard I believe but it disappoints me. To the extend that whatever I do I can't seem to leave the word "fail". Of cause I do have days that I can be successful in making things to happen but at times I really fail miserably. I thought: "Why I can't be like this person to make things done? Why I can't be that person to make things happen?" I really question many times to myself.

Because when I am weak, He is strong.

This is a revelation I've got recently. Yea, I've heard this many many times but didn't really get the meaning. It's because when people see that you're weak, you see yourself as a true failure, you couldn't glorify God that He shows that because of Him, we can be strong like Him, testify His goodness and grace upon us.

Isn't God a wonderful father? He loves me no matter how I am, helps me even if I've done mistakes. We are no perfect people, but we are perfect in His eyes.

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It's been awhile

2011-01-16T00:45:00.001+08:00

Haven't been updating this portion for some time. Here I am!
(seems like the blogpress app has gone to waste..)

In short, last year has been an eventful year for me. Changed me to become a better person and allowing me to see things I've not seen before(with my own eyes) and done things that I never thought I was able to make it. Be it my own personal life or photography.

It was really God at work.

This year started great! I believe that when you think it is, it will be! Even tho there's still some things I've not overcome but I'm still believing in living your best!
------------------------------------
Sometimes I just don't wish to feel the way I am feeling now. It just makes me paranoid easily and like I've said, I hate to feel this way. How am I gonna go thru this? Yea, you never know how it felt to be like that.

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2010-12-13T22:57:00.001+08:00

If I say I'm tired, will there someone be there to encourage?
Alittleeee prayer will help.

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He called me to..

2010-12-08T13:45:00.001+08:00

This is my destiny, that God have placed in me.

"Abide in Me and My word in you."

My guitarist for my Friday performance!

I'm on my way for my saturday zone camp performance practice! It's gonna be fun, wild and crazy!!

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Eventful day.

2010-12-07T01:21:00.002+08:00

Oh well, as many people have read on my twitter and facebook that I've lost my wallet. When I found out that I lost my wallet, I'm only in a state of shock. Seriously. But nonetheless, I wanna thank those people who have show their concern and encouragement!
Of cos! I'll still enjoy my monday

I met up max for dinner at Thompson rd! Haven't been there for quite some time.

This is the food we had! We went to the prata place and a hainan chicken rice store. The food are really awesome, for real. Gotta try the stuff there my friends crispy prata is really dope! You can't get such crispy plain prata else where

We went like one place to another.. Afterwhich we went Thompson plaza strolling around, took bus to bishan to play our iPhone games and arcade for Mario race and silent hill

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Dream a little dream

2010-12-05T20:55:00.001+08:00

I still can't believe that I have an iPhone. I'm so in love with it and I really pray that I won't be a clumsy girl to lost my phone:) if not I'll really cry even if my eyeshadow gonna smudge on my face.

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An awesome Saturday

2010-12-05T13:28:00.001+08:00

So glad to see Wanyi and Minghui! It's really time to have a catch up session! I'm so excited!

Wanyi is ever skinny! Even tho she have been in Perth for the past 1 year, she have never grown an inch;) what mean was horizontally, not vertically. She is still that lovely girl I know:)

These guys.. Did cards for the poly students! Kudos to Qihui, Qixian, Clara, Sebas, Tianxin and Abbie. You guys are so lovely.

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My first post using iPhone!

2010-12-03T23:49:00.001+08:00

Hello readers! I've jus download
an app to blog! So I'll be on my page more often!:D

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Location:On the way home from cck

Look into the sky above.

2010-10-29T15:23:00.002+08:00

Many times when i think back how we met, how we've gone thru things, how life have changed you and me, just make me wanna look up and say "Thank God."

That was first time in my life.

2010-10-27T12:31:00.002+08:00

I can't wait to shoot vova!
PS: He's really cute. Not my cup of tea.

Currently working with Solange on a shoot with Angeline. Next will be Yaowen's accessories shoot. Or maybe i shoot put everything together for a shoot with vova before that? I'm just so excited.

Up till now, i've never regret not going to Lasalle to study at all. Probably only one thing, knowledge. I'll needa have lotsa discipline to study on photography by myself. I know i have Jimorca but that's not enough. At least things are getting better and i should keep this momentum going.

Yesterday i was on the train heading to my aunt's place. I saw this tall caucasian guy right at the end of the cabin. Thinking that he's 'quite' potential for his side view. Oh well, that's how i judge when i saw him. I couldn't stop turning my head and thinking how should i approach him. "Hi! I'm a photographer.." or "My name is gwen.." etc. I was really nervous when everytime the train stops. Not know when he's getting down the train. He alight at kovan! So i get down too!(Even tho that's not my stop). I approached him and ask if he's a model, blah blah blah. Didn't wanna make him think i'm a street approacher like what you've seen on Orchard rd, i jus get his FB. That was dumb isn't it? What if he don't go online much right? LOL.

After he went off, i was really shaking! Like all the way from kovan to sengkang. I never thought i will approach models on the street.. Moreover, he's a guy and we were in the train station. Nice one.

One thing i know from this: When you're desperate, you will jus throw whatever face you have to just do anything to get.

Jimorca always reminded me that if you were to approach a model, what will you lose? Nothing. Precisely!

2010-09-29T02:29:00.002+08:00

I didn't grow cold but something else. Some feelings that i don't know how to describe.

When i think it's alright to do it, on the second thought maybe it's like too emotionally attached? I just don't feel the way we were. I don't like, really don't like.

It's time to have my time occupied.

Can someone talk to me?

I just want me back.

2010-09-29T02:18:00.001+08:00

Where are you?

I don't know you.

I have so much to say,

2010-09-18T13:26:00.001+08:00

But you don't know.

I'M LIKE THIS PERSON DYING INSIDE.

2010-08-20T16:37:00.003+08:00

Oh Jesus! I need to do everything chop chop done! It's like i'm stuck in between the clouds and sky. Oh yes, sandwhich will be the right analogy.

I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time! I need more time!

Can i have another 24 hours today?

Tomorrow i'll be working, going for service, fellowship with members and come back home to prepare to go KL on sunday!(I jus pray that my things will get done over there. God is good, God is good:DDDDDDD)

Everything works for good for those who love Him. -- Quote of my day

Will having a break good for me?

2010-08-19T11:34:00.003+08:00

Chilling at city link's starbucks. Trying to surf the net to see if i can find any nice pictures that i can refer when i do my shoots.

I'm uber tired now. Tired. I gotta report to work later at 230pm but i guess i'll reach early and rest in the staff lounge. One more morning prayer meeting to go for the weekdays.

Sometimes i think it's really stupid to have so many thoughts running through my mind. Possible and impossible ones. This reminded me of what Pastor casey said, "You have good and bad thoughts everyday. Filter out the bad ones!"

One moment im angry with you, one moment i think im too guilty to think of you this way. One moment i feel like confronting you, one moment i lost my words. One moment i feel like giving up, one moment..

So many one moments we have, use you moments wisely.

He is my strength, my refuge, my shelter, my healer. He's my one and only pillar when i fall.

I just love to take a real deep breath and forget what i was thinking and hold back my tears.

Let's not forget..

2010-08-16T03:46:00.002+08:00

His love is sufficient for us to go thru all things.

I felt burden for one person.

You have been very dear to me all these while, nothing have ever change that even when your life was changed because of one person. Initially i was upset when you insisted to have that person to enter into your life and somehow took our position in your heart. As time passed, you showed me that you can still prioritise when it's needed. Well, probably i was wrong.

You told us you were busy with your work, we understand. You told us you needed to accompany him, we understand. You told us you need to meet up others, we understand. You told us you were too tired and wanted to shorten our meeting time, we really don't understand.

When we always say, "when was the last time we meet? oh! few months ago.." Everytime we meet it's only 3-4 hours or less? You told us that we didn't make time for you, we didn't call you, we didn't meet up with you, we didn't?

Now i don't see you in church for more than a month, i'm so.. dissappointed. Where is your vision? What's your priority? Who comes first? Are you really happy without God in your life?

You know people have given up on you, we didn't. We are still holding that hope that you'll be back with us. It's just like what the lyrics says..

Friends
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say "never"
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

How much more can this lyrics be so true to describe us? But of all, just remember that we are always here for you, just for you..

I love you, BFF.

o10 national day fireworks.

2010-08-10T03:15:00.005+08:00

They are wonderful people! So cute♥♥♥♥